


Cake Scams

by c0ld_handz



Series: Climbing Class Shenanigans [1]
Category: Cake Tasting AU, Until Dawn, climbing class - Fandom
Genre: Climbing Class, F/M, Fluff, Half smut?, Implied Consent, Josh has horrible puns, M/M, Multi, Suggestive, angst but not really, explicit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0ld_handz/pseuds/c0ld_handz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris knew his best friend was full of surprises. He'd known from the moment they met. Though it didn't stop his surprised expression when Josh suggested they pretend to be engaged to get free cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cake Scams

Chris could say he was not choking on icing, but that would be a lie.

He glanced at Josh, who was partially paying attention while bouncing around to each different design of cake samples presented to him. The way his eyes lit up at the desert in front of him didn’t immediately surprise Chris. Josh had always been fond of anything sweet. After all, Josh was the one who had the idea to do come here in the first place. 

What did surprise him was the afternoon that Josh had sprung up from his lounging position on his bed to suggest they come to the event. They had finally taken a break from a Call of Duty marathon day and were laying on Chris’ bed per usual. Chris, with his head propped up on the headboard, legs spread out and phone in hand. Josh on his stomach, socked feet under the pillow and one arm draped over Chris’ legs with his other cradling the device that let him browse Facebook. One minute Josh was laying there, the next, his face was almost pressed against Chris’ own. Josh no longer relaxed, but up on his knees with hardly suppressed joy. 

“Okay. Okay. So, who doesn’t love free food?” Josh asked.

“No one I plan to meet” Chris replied back easily.

“Right? And it’s important to have quality company while eating” Josh continued.

Chris shot him a slightly amused look. “Yes? I kinda enjoy just eating something free, Josh. But I will admit that eating with you and your puns are the best”

Josh’s attempts to hide how ecstatic he was about that fact failed miserably and he blurted out, “What would you say to pretending to be engaged to me so we can have free cake samples?” 

Chris was floored. He stared at Josh waiting to be told, “Just kidding! I’m only Joshin’ ya!” 

When he didn’t hear anything from Josh and realized he was staring right into his friend’s eyes, he became flustered.

If I get to see that smile on your face for a bit longer…

He conceded with an “Of course you doof” 

To promptly grab his best friend in a bear hug. 

Chris was smiling at the memory. It had been a while since he had witnessed the other male express anything but that hallow reproduction of a genuine smile or excitement. However, as one learned when spending time with Josh Washington, the plans while meticulous, always had high risks.

“But what if they don’t believe us Josh? What if they need a certificate from us to prove it? Do we need rings? How do we prove it if they don’t want a certificate? What if they hate-“

“Bro. Chill. All that this is gonna take is some acting. Thankfully, you have my glorious skills available to you. You have nothing to worry about. Just trust me Cochise. Washington honor” he replied with a salute.

 

Josh sauntered into his home’s library, successfully distracting Chris from the book he picked up on some human turned demon by cannibalism. There was a smirk on his face as he held up a small black box. To say Chris was confused would be an understatement. Josh approached him, got on one knee and then opened the box to show a beautifully crafted vine ring made of gold which held small turquoise jewels embedded inside to resemble flowers.

Chris was dreaming. He was dreaming because Josh Washington doesn’t just kneel on one knee and ask for a thing like marriage. Not like that. Not with so few words or a pun to escape his lips beforehand. He should wake up to find Josh lying next to him. Josh’s mouth open on a sigh, and eyes sifting with the sun’s rays on his bed like they do every weekend. Every weekend and it’s as agonizing as it is wonderful. He was going to wake any minute now. He was sure of it.

If he wasn’t dreaming, then he would question if he really knew his best friend at all. When the impossible is happening. When he can’t even fathom words, but the look on his face must say it because the next thing he feels are Josh’s arms around him. Familiar voice insisting that the rings were fake props from his father’s movies. That there was nothing wrong. 

That he hadn’t just spent around a grand getting props for their plans. 

That they would only take the rings when they were about to leave so no one would notice they were missing. 

Everything was fine.

There was nothing wrong, but it wasn’t like Josh could know about his secret. He couldn’t let him know. Not like this. It was so close to what he wanted, but not enough. Not nearly enough.

 

The ringing of the wind chimes inside the store made a pleasant contrast to the soft classical music playing. 

A sharply dressed man came up to greet them with a polite smile even as his eyes spoke of a dark suspicion. 

Josh moved in front of Chris, blocking the man from his peripherals. 

“Welcome to the open house for the engaged. Please fill out this form of how you found us and what made you decide to come here.” 

Josh took the papers exclaiming, “Thanks handsome. Hope you have a lovely day. I know my fiance and I will here if you keep that up”

Chris flinched as the man’s scoul became deeper. Josh noticed and he smiled hesitantly up towards Chris. Chris who’s cheeks were burning as he stated a bit hushed, “Sorry. As you can see, my fiance makes it a point to be friendly to everyone he meets. Sometimes a bit too friendly, Josh”

“Aw sweetie, don’t tell me you’re getting jealous because I called someone other than you handsome? That’s precious” 

The clerk made an amused face at Josh’s wit and Chris, although flushed red was a bit more appeased by the fact that the man probably didn’t suspect them anymore.

Once they sat down in the waiting area to finish the paperwork, Chris turned to Josh, and whispered in his ear, “Thanks, but now I can’t look that guy in the eyes”

“What? Him? Is it because I accidentally insinuated a threesome?”

“And to think, you have actually never once done that before... ” Chris said as the memories of awkward glances between Josh, Ashley and him passed while they were all drunk from playing the drinking game of truth or dare, while they were sitting in the pool, or even on a casual night out in various restaurants. 

Chris smiled. 

“Oh it appears you have no problem with that though do you?” Josh stated while looking over at his best friend.

Pen still in his hand and paperwork filled in. 

Chris’ eyebrows met his hairline when he noticed Josh had completed the work so fast. Josh smirked when Chris’ expression turned to one of shock. 

“Cat got your tongue Cochise? Oh wait, that’s me, not the cat…” Josh muttered in his ear while he slowly got up.

Chris watched him go. Silently thanking and cursing himself for agreeing to this. It made Josh happy and so Chris was content. If the price of blushing for around two hours straight gained this type of reaction from Josh, then Chris would gladly suffer through it. 

Every few minutes Josh would rush back to him to cling onto his arm or ask something along the lines of, “What do you think of this one?” All the while holding out a sizable sample of cake to place into Chris’ mouth.

The first time he tried this, Chris glanced at Josh in confusion. But when he opened his mouth in question, Josh just stuffed it right in anyways. It was a slice of laughter after a cold and unforgiving day of mourning. By the way Josh’s mouth turned to a smirk, he caught the expression Chris wore after the sample.

“I take it by your face that means the taste was agreeable to your tongue?” The clerk asked intrigued and teasing.

Blushing even more now, Chris nodded. Josh leaned close whispering, “Oh, but certainly not as agreeable as it could be with my tongue would it?” His mocking eyes alight with mischief.

This earned Josh a sputter of a half finished curse when Chris realized just how intently the clerk was listening. He quickly closed his mouth and nodded embarrassed at the display laid out for the employee. Josh backed away smiling and turned to the next sample before him.

Chris sighed in relief when the brunette seemed once again occupied with asking another clerk how the idea for the new sample was made.

The blond smiled softly to himself when Josh found a large piece of a more extravagant cake and tried, yet failed to fit the slice into his mouth. He would never let the brunette know exactly how endearing he found him. 

As he paused before another cake sample, the sound of a slightly alarmed employee entered the air and Chris sighed. Heading towards his struggling friend, he wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled the spoon from his hands with the other. Josh whined in slight annoyance.

“Really Cochise? I got it.”

He proceeded to make grabbing hands towards the sample in front of him. After a moment, Chris angled the spoon so that Josh could eat the cake properly.

Leaning near his ear, Chris whispered, “There are better things to choke on than cake, Josh.”

In order to make his point clear, Chris moved his leg between Josh’s and pressed his hips closer to the male he was embracing. Only to let go after the feeling of Josh tensing became clear to him. He backed off worried for a second that he had gone too far in the teasing act.

However, his anxiety went away when Josh turned to him with a dusting of pink across his cheeks and suddenly pliant lips were against his. Warm and inviting the kiss ended much too quickly in Chris’ opinion. He would deny making that high-pitched noise for the rest of his life. Josh pulled away with an impish expression.

Chris was sure his face was lobster red, the only difference this time was that it was not because of the sun.

It wasn’t like he was bothered though. Not when Josh’s expression resembled that of a child on a sugar high. 

Sighing to himself as Josh walked away, Chris decidedly took another offered slice of cake before him.

“Why not buy this one for the wedding Cochise?” Josh suggested while pointing at the ridiculously large and extravagant cake that-of course featured all the horror movie schemes in one. 

A noise of dissent left Chris as he looked at his best friend, pointing to what was a masterpiece of gore and disturbingly sharp looking objects for kill all aligned in disarray on a lavish cake. 

Chris choked on the bite he was currently eating. The clerk failed at attempting to mein any innocence at how comical they thought his response was. 

Recovering from his blunder of suffocating on icing, the blond held back the glare he felt was appropriate in giving Josh while he approached.

“C'mon Chris open up, I wanna see your reaction. After the last one I suggested I figure this one will blow your mind.” Josh professed. 

“What if I told you that you already did with that last act you pulled?” Chris retorted. 

Josh on his account smiled and replied, “Maybe you misread my statement. I simply was stating that I can’t get enough of that look on your face.” 

Now a blushing mess, Chris whispered, “Well, maybe you should wait until we have a few less eyes on us. Unless you like sharing, Washington.” 

The possessive edge to his voice startled him, and judging by Josh’s dilated pupils, he had no complaints.

“What’s the matter Chris? Don’t like a little danger?” Josh was practically purring. 

His proximity was making Chris’ thoughts begin to short circuit a bit, but the pressing eyes on them left him feeling entirely too self-conscious. Chris wanted to let out a groan of annoyance at the small crowd of employees that had gathered from their spectacle.

“Not as much as I like you. Not nearly as much.” 

He always adored the fact that Josh had to turn up slightly to meet his eyes, but now it just made his gut ache pleasantly with something warm.

Josh was examining Chris now. Apparently he found what he was searching for because he took the blonde's wrist and insistently pulled down so the inches in height no longer existed and their lips met again. 

“I suggest you wait around a few minutes until you follow me, but please don’t be any longer.” 

And with that, Josh let go of his hand, then promptly walked away to the right corner where the sign labeled the bathrooms for the the customers. 

Once Chris had finally removed himself from his daze, a slightly smaller teen came up to him. Blonde hair and emerald green eyes whose face was comprised of all smiles accompanied by a disgruntled man standing off to the side of her. 

“Hey buddy, you looked a little flustered back there. I’m Jess. This is my lovely fiance, Mike.” She gestured to the brunette male behind her that now had a perceptible nervous air about himself. 

Nodding, in answer, “Hey. I’m Chris. Ah, yeah. He likes to do that and walk off to plot his next scheme of ‘Teens React’ featuring my fiance ” 

The blonde laughed with good humor, and Mike’s frown had disappeared instead to put into place a composed smile with an empathetic glint. 

Jess’ smile, which seemed to defy physics with it’s wide berth, managed to stretch larger as she carried the conversation with, “I’ve got to meet him and ask what he has and hasn’t tried yet then. Glad to know someone who appreciates the art I specialize in” 

She pointedly looked over at Mike in amusement. Then she leans in and whispers, “He’s just grumpy right now cause he’s losing the bet” 

Mike uttered something unintelligible in the background, yet Chris caught the words, “...Wolfy distracts me for one second…”

Chris suppressed his laughter at Mike’s answer by saying, “Party of two in the line of noble humility?”

“Good to know the injustice is the same here my man” Mike said as he reached out a hand. 

Chris found himself smiling as he took Mike’s hand. It was calloused and warm. He pulled his hand back quickly after to salute. 

“For them, we endure” Chris replied as he mock saluted Mike. 

That earned him a laugh that rung low and light in the air and for a second, he sees why Jess picked him. 

“So, how did you find this place?” Jess asked. 

“Well I actually wasn’t the one who found it. Josh did. We were on my bed-don’t give me that look Mike. We were browsing facebook and all of a sudden he pops up to suggest it. Bouncing on the covers, giant smile, the whole nine yards. Who am I to deny him when he’s that excited?” 

Jess had a distant look in her eyes now. 

“What brought you guys here?” 

“Believe it or not, we were just strolling by and wanted to check it out. I’m glad we did, wouldn’t have met you otherwise” 

Chris blinked. 

“Well, then same to you”

“How long have you two been together before he put a ring on it?” Jess asked voice curious.

Chris laughed nervously thinking of their planned lies, “Around our whole lives actually.. Since third grade….” 

“Oh my goodness that’s adorable! You don’t need to feel embarrassed! This dork” -Jess pulls her thumb to Mike beside her- “took eight years! But it was worth it” 

and instead busied himself with a quick, “Well have fun you two! I have to go play hide and seek with my runaway groom!” 

Jess was still waving when he looked back as he rounded the corner. 

He barely entered the bathroom before he was pulled into a stall by who he assumed was Josh.

“Josh. You can’t be serious right now bro.” 

Chris was trying very hard not stare at the sight of his best friend before him. A knowing smirk on his face, and completely indifferent to his pants which in effect were bunched up by his ankles. Leaving his erection defined clearly by the boxers he was wearing. 

“C'mon man, you’re the one who made me wait for ten minutes in here.”

Chris started a sentence only to be cut off from air as Josh began to lightly tug on his belt loops while leaning up to capture his mouth. 

Chris gave in and let his lips slide against Josh’s own. 

“Met a nice couple.” Chris said in between the small gasps and pants Josh wrung out of him when he rolled his hips so they brushed teasingly against each other. 

“More fun than me?” Josh asked, eyes still closed and hands in Chris’ hair. Keeping him close as if Chris would meld into the metal of the bathroom stall if he let go.

“With you aren’t I?” Chris responded with warmth in his tone. 

Josh hissed when Chris pressed him towards the cool enclosure. 

“Maybe not here.” 

Chris looked at Josh. 

Josh whose shirt was wrinkled between his fingers. Lips full and slightly shining with saliva. They were parted on a mix between moans and pants when Chris’ hands moved halfway up Josh’s warm torso. One clutching tightly to the brunette’s now visible waist while the other was preoccupied with caressing the skin found underneath his nipples. Josh’s control growing thinner with each soft press Chris let his fingers make if the dark spot in his boxers were any indication. 

Chris stopped. 

“You sure?” 

“Fff-forgot the lube, bro.” 

Josh managed. His breathless laughter made Chris press his lips to Josh’s chest as he smiled softly.That is until the thought of what exactly Josh was insinuating and actually entering Josh came to mind. The soft pants he’ll make while Chris slowly moved. Whimpers and the warm muscles twitching around him. Josh’s face as he said, “Chris. You can m-move now.” 

Chris must have been frozen against Josh for too long since he heard the concerned voice, “If that’s alright with you? You hear me Cochise? You with me Bro?” Before he felt hands gently pry his face from Josh’s warmth and suddenly he was staring into Josh’s worried eyes. 

“Hey.” Chris whispered. 

Some of the tenseness in Josh’s expression melted away and he responded with a fond, “Welcome back Cochise. Dare I ask what fantasies you have con-cock-ed now?”

Chris snorted, hugged Josh close, and said softly, “Only if you want to make them reality, bro.” 

He listened to the heavy exhale that left Josh and felt the shudder a few seconds later. 

“Seeing as part of my filming lineage derives from making fantasies of any kind come true, I would be honored Chris.”

What confused him was when Josh pulled his hands off his torso to bring down his rucked up shirt and pick up his pants. Josh exited the stall after making sure Chris fixed his skewed glasses and re-zipped his pants. Then staring at Chris through the mirror as he re-arranged his hair to a more presentable array.

“Well Cochise? Don’t have all day. Actually, maybe all night, but definitely not the whole day. It is noon already.”  
Chris flushed and averted his gaze to his own hair and clothing to see if he had to adjust anything. 

To his surprise, one of his shirts were pulled to the side revealing the beginnings of a hickey. His glasses were more or less unharmed compared to the mess of shirts that were twisted around his waist by the belt that Josh had played with. The fly to his pants having been put back into place by Josh seemed to be fine, however crooked they appeared.

It only made him a bit frustrated when Josh pressed a quick kiss to Chris’ chin as he passed him to leave the bathroom.

When he found Josh outside, he recognized the couple that he previously talked to engaging in a conversation with Josh. Catching Chris’ eyes as he walked up to the trio, Josh smirked.

“Ah yes, loverboy is here at last. Thank you for joining us in this little escapade, however, we must go.” 

Now addressing the staff members, Josh exclaimed, “Gonna head out now, I’m calling dibs on that one cake in the back which my attractive partner enjoyed. Here’s some money. Send it to the address labeled ‘The Washington Manor’ on twenty-third street. The mailman knows what to do from there. Thank you again for your hospitality. I’ll be sure to put a good review of your business on my twitter. It’s been pleasant, but not as pleasant as what I’m about to do next. Go have at them Archie!” 

The clerk who had aided them in tasting samples smiled and saluted Josh. Chris assumed that was Archie. With that well winded departure, Josh grabbed the taller man’s wrist and yanked him towards the car.

**Author's Note:**

> Me Right after writing this:
> 
> KILL ME LATER>I AM DONE WRITING THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FLUFF AU BECAUSE I TRIED NOT TO TURN IT INTO FULL BRO SMUT BUT I DIDN’T ESCAPE THAT>
> 
> I keep finding more things to change to make it more punny because Josh is a pun-tiful guy when it comes to jokes
> 
> My Adorable Friend who proof read this:
> 
> 10/10 would cake again
> 
> Me three to four days after writing this:
> 
> My hands have sinned... I wanted to just have cute fluff, but whatever. I know Josh and Chris don't mind.


End file.
